Archive for the Parenting Category

Girls, girls, girls

Posted in Parenting on October 17, 2009 by Brad

I have girls.

Delilah (yes, that is a pseudonym) was born on her due date of September 29th 2009 at 21:38, weighing in at 6 pounds 13 ounces.

Everyone is doing great, except Lamia who appears to think that mommy no longer loves her.  She is sweet with Delilah though.

Tired. Obviously.

Advertisements

Advertising

Posted in Parenting on September 7, 2009 by Brad

How is it that my kid not only knows about McDonalds, but gets excited when she sees it? She had some fries from there one time. And now when we see the big golden arches she points and screams piercingly “O’Donalds!” causing everyone around us for 100ft to stare at me as if I am the worst parent in the world, because obviously the child is fed on nothing but McNuggets.

It was much funnier when our friends were visiting and told us they had just come from McDonalds and Lamia sang “ee-i-ee-i-o!”

I feel like she has lost her innocence somehow.

Guilt

Posted in Operation Shock and Awe, Parenting on June 28, 2009 by Brad

The second kiddo’s imminent arrival is a mere three months away. We are in the process of clearing out the study so that we can move Lamia in there and leave the smaller, closer room for the n00b.

I find I am feeling a little guilty at the uprooting that Lamia is going to go through. She has been so much the center, the focus, of our lives for the past 21 months. She comes before all else, and she knows it. The kid chucks a tantrum if she brings me a book to read to her and I tell her I will do it in 2 minutes. How on earth is this little girl, who has been so doted on, going to handle being second fiddle to a tiny baby? The baby who has uprooted her from her bedroom, will be wearing her old socks and playing with her old toys. The baby who is going to bring Lamia’s out-of-house activities to a screaming halt for awhile.

I cannot help but regret them being so close in age. It was not something we planned that way. When it comes to unplanned pregnancy, we rule. But I wish Lamia was just a little older so she would be able to understand what was going on. So that she would be excited about being a big sister, and about having a whole new room, her own little space which will actually fit some of her toys. And maybe we could paint it the color of her choice.

Of course, then I feel guilty for focusing on Lamia and barely even considering the n00b, and it occurs to me how kids end up with middle child syndrome…

Remember that thing I said that time?

Posted in Adoption, Operation Shock and Awe, Parenting on March 19, 2009 by Brad

About how there were momentous events in my life of which two years sobriety was the least? Well now I can talk about the other one.

We are having a baby

Lamia gets to be a big sister!

Let’s not talk about my below average photography skills.

In other news, we are in the process of making a date to visit with Sprog’s family. We figure best get it done before we have a new baby, else it will never happen.

My son is 8

Posted in Adoption, Parenting on December 7, 2008 by Brad

I cannot quite wrap my head around the fact that he is 8. Maybe it is because I see so little of him, or maybe time really does go faster when you get older. It seems strange that my daughter is almost 15 months old, so I suspect the latter.

He had a great time on his birthday. A party on Saturday with all his classmates from school. We talked on the phone and he told me all about his presents.

And I think this was the first time I have been happy on Sprog’s birthday.

Parenting Lamia has flipped a switch in me. Instead of Sprog’s milestones depressing me, it is Lamia’s milestones that make me think wistfully of Sprog. I realize what I missed by not seeing him eat his first bite of food, crawl across the room, pull himself up on my leg. And somehow, on his birthday, it is about Sprog now. Not about me missing him.

Now I am a Real Parent

Posted in Parenting on October 14, 2008 by Brad

Not only have I changed diapers and wiped boogers, I have now experienced the dubious honor of spending an evening in the emergency room with a sick kid.  We took her in because she had a high fever and we are paranoid, and while we were there she puked up everything she has ever eaten on the hospital floor. Incidentally, they are woefully low on janitorial staff (we cleaned up the barf with a paper towel and nobody ever appeared to do a proper job).

Diagnosis: “Vomiting without blood”.

Yeah.

Anyways, she did not die and has recovered just fine, although she is not interested in eating anything other than cereal and toast.

I guess I put this one next to my “campfire” badge.

Stop growing up dammit!

Posted in Adoption, Parenting on September 25, 2008 by Brad

It has been one year already. My daughter is growing up too fast.  There is a pinch of sadness each time we pack away a set of clothing that no longer fits, sadness along with the joy and pride each time she does something new like crawling around in the bathtub and saying her own name (I swear she did!)

Each of these milestones is one step closer to us having to explain to Lamia that her big brother and half-sister live in another family, way over the other side of the country. A huge part of me just wants to keep quiet about it. If we do not tell her, she will never know. It will never affect her. She will never have anything to wonder about. We could be her only family. She is our flesh and blood, she looks like us, is there any reason for her to know her siblings even exist?

This little voice tells me we are setting her up for more issues if we tell her about Sprog’s family than if we do not. Let her think she is our firstborn. Why not? Then she can have a normal childhood and not have to tell people at kindergarten that she has older siblings and have the teachers think she is making up stories.

I think I would do it that way, if we did not have a continuing relationship with Sprog’s family. I know that sounds horribly wrong, perpetuating the secrecy in adoption. But when it is to protect Lamia, to make her life easier, more normal… is that such a terribly bad thing?