Archive for November, 2009

Seasonal Guilt Disorder

Posted in Adoption on November 12, 2009 by Brad

Trying to decide what to get our son for Christmas. Something small that we can send through the mail? Or order something bigger online and have it delivered? Is that too impersonal? Which will he appreciate more?

We have not visited at Christmas since our first daughter was born. We always used to visit at Christmas. My son’s family pictures from last Christmas are… heartbreaking. There he is, sitting under the tree, opening presents. Presents that were just what he wanted. But he does not have that typical look of a kid on Christmas morning with all the promise of spending the day playing with new toys and eating good food. He looks sad, and lost.

So, egocentric as I am, I wonder if that is because we – the rest of his family – are not there. I wonder if he feels like he is not important to us now we have kids who we are parenting. Maybe he feels replaced.

I do not know what to say to him. Am I reading into it? Was he just pissed in those pictures because he got Antz-in-the-Pantz and not yellow Mega-man? Will it just make things worse if I try to reassure him that we still love him, that our daughters have not replaced him in any way. Maybe he has not thought anything like that but me voicing it will make him think about it.

I should probably ask his parents, but I do not want to sound like an ass.

Adoption sucks.