Complacency

I fear I am becoming complacent. Lazy. Unvigilant. This is a gateway to a not-good place.

I said it a few days ago – no interest in alcohol. It made me happy. But now it scares me, because I thought about it some more and I think just maybe I need to stay in the fight. It is when you do not realize there is a battle going on that you get snuck up on and garrotted. In a battle situation you are on alert. But how do you fight something that will not fight back?

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5 Responses to “Complacency”

  1. I think the key is to know your triggers and how to manage them. Right now we’re doing the battle of the painkillers vs. pain. Is it really pain? Or is it a craving? There’s a discipline to long term management. I don’t think it means though that you’re always ‘fighting the fight’. The whole idea is to enjoy your life in a clean way. Just recognize that you may want to say to yourself “I can handle one” and be prepared to say “And I won’t. Because I know that’s not true.”

    Make sense?

  2. Have no experience in this arena, and really no words of wisdom other than to say if you ever need a kick in the butt, you know how to get ahold of me. Here for you … and here to listen too.

    Jen

  3. Makes sense Regina, but I also know myself well enough to know that I get to “I can handle one” and never get to “And I won’t”. You know that thing they say, “The price of freedom is eternal vigilance”. I need to stop before the “I can handle one”.

    Thanks Jen, nothing beats a kick in the butt from you. 😉

  4. Yes, you bet your ass you cannot ever handle one and you’ve got to constantly be on watch for that. That would be the little green monster talking. Believe me I see it with my love. Which is why we’re on painkiller watch after surgery #2 this week. He’s got to do his work, and I’ve got to do my work to help him stay sober. *sigh*

    My point is – it’s not all drudgery and battles. Sober living is fun living too, where I think a lot of short-termers fall apart is in not being able to believe they can have FUN and relax while living clean. To be successful in the long term though you’ve got to be able to enjoy clean life. Gives the green monster less ammo.

    🙂

    Regina

  5. paragraphein Says:

    Brad,

    We are battling some of this in our house right now. The idea of “I can handle just one.” The idea that it’s “not so hard, really! I don’t even think about it anymore.”

    I am just going to say that as a spouse, it strikes fear in my heart. Whether rational or not. I am not saying an addict is responsible for their spouse’s feelings–they’re my feelings, I own them–and it may be that, not being an addict myself, I just don’t fully understand what recovery from addiction is like. I do know, though, that complacency in mental health recovery tends to not work for me. That when I’ve started to think I can relax and do less work, well… I tend to prove myself wrong.

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