Archive for September, 2008

Haircut

Posted in Mumblings on September 26, 2008 by Brad

Ever accidentally grab your razor instead of your hairbrush?

Yeah, me neither.

Stop growing up dammit!

Posted in Adoption, Parenting on September 25, 2008 by Brad

It has been one year already. My daughter is growing up too fast.  There is a pinch of sadness each time we pack away a set of clothing that no longer fits, sadness along with the joy and pride each time she does something new like crawling around in the bathtub and saying her own name (I swear she did!)

Each of these milestones is one step closer to us having to explain to Lamia that her big brother and half-sister live in another family, way over the other side of the country. A huge part of me just wants to keep quiet about it. If we do not tell her, she will never know. It will never affect her. She will never have anything to wonder about. We could be her only family. She is our flesh and blood, she looks like us, is there any reason for her to know her siblings even exist?

This little voice tells me we are setting her up for more issues if we tell her about Sprog’s family than if we do not. Let her think she is our firstborn. Why not? Then she can have a normal childhood and not have to tell people at kindergarten that she has older siblings and have the teachers think she is making up stories.

I think I would do it that way, if we did not have a continuing relationship with Sprog’s family. I know that sounds horribly wrong, perpetuating the secrecy in adoption. But when it is to protect Lamia, to make her life easier, more normal… is that such a terribly bad thing?

I am the smartest man alive!

Posted in Mumblings, Politics on September 24, 2008 by Brad

I have been playing “Are you smarter than a 5th grader?”. I won $1million!

Then….

Wife: Brad, have you been up all night googling Sarah Palin?

Brad: No….  but LOOK!

My daughter rocks

Posted in Mumblings on September 22, 2008 by Brad

She loves the Dropkick Murphys. Loves them.

Complacency

Posted in Addiction on September 21, 2008 by Brad

I fear I am becoming complacent. Lazy. Unvigilant. This is a gateway to a not-good place.

I said it a few days ago – no interest in alcohol. It made me happy. But now it scares me, because I thought about it some more and I think just maybe I need to stay in the fight. It is when you do not realize there is a battle going on that you get snuck up on and garrotted. In a battle situation you are on alert. But how do you fight something that will not fight back?

Good daddy material

Posted in Mumblings on September 17, 2008 by Brad

Heh. The search terms that brought someone to my blog yesterday:

Good daddy material

That one makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.

And then there was:

Diarrhea after margarita

That is the more usual kind of hit I get.

I am a rock star

Posted in Adoption, Parenting on September 15, 2008 by Brad

Seriously. My daughter thinks I am a rock star. I came home from work and she saw me and shrieked like a teen at a Simple Plan concert. Best feeling ever. Of course, if she starts throwing her panties at me, that could get a little awkward.

My son has never been quite that thrilled to see me. He still thinks I am a rock star though. His older brother has a guitar, and I always teach them to play something when I am there. Their parents are very unmusical, so I feel like it is one area I can contribute and not step on any toes.

I love it when my daughter shrieks with joy at being in my presence. This is a new thing. Up till now, she has always wanted Mommy, and I have felt just a little rejected and unimportant and… sperm-donor-ish. Maybe this is why some dads feel OK about skipping out. They think they are superfluous. It has taken a year, but finally I feel like I belong.