How’s my parenting? Call 1-800-YOU-SUCK

A few nights ago I was watching American History X. I had my daughter on my lap. Now, this is a pretty brutal film in parts, and as I sat there letting her watch the pretty colored lights, I wondered at what point it stops being pretty lights and becomes terrifying images. Have I scarred her for life already? She definitely seems to prefer Dora the Explorer, but is that just because the colors are brighter and the voices are happier? Am I scaring her with the sounds already? She gets upset when I yell at the dog for trying to lick her feet, so I guess she does not like the angry. Maybe I should be pausing the DVD while she is there. It would take three weeks to watch a movie that way, but I have to wonder.

It gets me to wondering… what did Sprog’s parents do? I want to ask them, but on the other hand the last thing I want to do is ask them for parenting advice, and yes my reasoning behind that is irrational, I know it. I feel like I cannot ask anyone about parenting because it proves that I am not fit to be a parent, and the minute someone finds that out, someone will be knocking on my door to take my baby away.

Oh yeah, and do not talk to me about cot death. Honestly, how many parents sit and watch their kid for 10 minutes every hour to make sure she is breathing?

On the sane side of life though, happy one year sobriety anniversary to me!


11 Responses to “How’s my parenting? Call 1-800-YOU-SUCK”

  1. I’ve been lurking on your blog for about a year. I just want to tell you what I am sure that you already know — everyone needs parenting advice.

    After my first kid was born I sometimes had this irrational thought that I was going to get “found out.” I was going to be arrested for impersonating an adult, have the job, husband, house, and kid all taken away and be sent home where I was to be grounded.

    Happy anniversary.

  2. at some point every1 needs parenting advice because every1 wants to be best parents and inspire their kids to be better people in life…

  3. The really bad parents, the ones that truly harm their kids, dont go on their blog and publicly state their fears or what they do or did. Its kind like if you think you are crazy, you are probably quite sane. Cuz the true crazies dont know they are crazy.

    No worries.

    And congrats again on the sobriety. That is awesome.

    (oh, and all those parenting moments are likely to forever having you questionign what sprogs parents did. in my experience, having another child made me think of my daugher lost to adoption more – not less. hugs to you all)

  4. Many congrats on the anniversary, and welcome to the fumbling parent club. It’s almost like the AARP … membership is assumed at once you cross a milestone, like childbirth.

    Oh, and we still sleep with a baby monitor to hear him breathe and he’s friggin’ four years old.

  5. I’m really enjoying reading your site, and hoped to add some insightful comment, but the people ahead of me already said the important things.

    Always get parenting advice, and then weigh it against your own common sense. Your daughter is probably too young to be scarred by TV just yet, but you will be able to see when the tone of words on TV has an effect on her just like your own voice has an effect on her now. The stuff you worry about turns out to be easy, the real problems are usually where you didn’t expect to find them.

    And Yondella — I used to feel the exact same way. Sometimes I stiill do (and I’m well into middle age now). I think a lot of people feel that way. In fact, the older I get, the more disturbed I am to realize the extent to which most people have no idea what they are doing most of the time.

    Congrats on a year of sobriety, that is a real accomplishment!

  6. Hey Brad,

    First, congrats on the sobriety milestone. Told Steve who said ‘cool’ too. He’s deep that way.

    Funny, I could have written this part of your post:

    I want to ask them, but on the other hand the last thing I want to do is ask them for parenting advice, and yes my reasoning behind that is irrational, I know it. I feel like I cannot ask anyone about parenting because it proves that I am not fit to be a parent, and the minute someone finds that out, someone will be knocking on my door to take my baby away.

    I was terrified to ask anyone for advice esp. DS’s bfamily b/c then they would realize they gave their child to an incompetent boob. Thank God they snapped me out of that one, and it became a place we bonded – something we could all relate to. I still call Auntie T at times for a “what the heck is this all about?” session every few months or so. Boys are strange creatures, have I mentioned that before?

    Oh, and right now vid in general isn’t good for baby’s visual development skills, but don’t stress it too much. There are parenting Nazis who will tell you no Video until age 3. Yeah, good luck with that. I think like most other things it’s OK in moderation. I will say the Baby Einstein videos are profoundly stupid and have been shown now to actually slow language and social development so skip them (mostly b/c they’re profoundly stupid).

    At about 9 mos to 1 year I’d start to really watch content though b/c there’s a ton of credible research on the negative impact of violent programming on children’s development on world view. DS JUST got to see the Star Wars series (we started him properly on Episode IV of course) and he’s almost 6. We noticed at age 2 when he watched violent scenes in movies like A Bug’s Life he would then mimic and become more demonstratively physical – so it’s not just the research I base my thoughts on. Toddler’s brains are not mini-adult brains, their nervous system is very different, among other things.

    Loud nosies startling her means she can hear and is perfectly normal. As for content, right now she’s not comprehending much.

    Oh and I’m with Larisa (surprise!) in that I still periodically check on DS to make sure he’s breathing. See above for his age. Also, I love to watch him sleep – perfectly at peace, and looks almost exactly like he did when he was a baby. Welcome to the world of Loving a Person More Than You Love Air. 🙂

    Above all, hang in, and enjoy every moment. Those 5 years my Dad spoke of go by like lightning.


  7. reunionwritings Says:

    Congratulations for having one year clean that’s amazing.

  8. Laurie (aka Momseekingpeace) Says:

    Happy 1 year Birthday!!!!

    Kids have a way of bringing out all that we need to work on, LOL Sounds like your doin a fine job, just the fact that your asking questions out loud says it all. I worry about the ones who think they have it all figured out.

  9. Brad,

    Happy Anniversary.

    P.S. All parents suck. All parents make mistakes. And in my experience, all parents who bother to worry about how much they suck, are actually good parents.

  10. Kids suck, since they don’t do anything but cause more trouble. That’s what my mom taught me.

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