The… what now?… of birth fathers

Certainly can’t be rights. Fathers do not deserve rights, especially not fathers who have considered adoption. Not judging by this comment:

If you say you’re going to sign the papers and have been saying it all along, sign the damn papers, asshole.

Yes, someone actually said that. I am not going to specify who or where, because I hope to Hendrix it was a throwaway comment uttered in the heat of an emotional moment. If anyone seriously wants to lay claim to it though, please do say so and I will implement all the appropriate links.

The gist of the back story is that a couple experiencing an unplanned pregnancy made an adoption plan. The father had claimed for the seven months of the match with an adoptive family that he intended to sign relinquishment papers. After the baby was born and had been with the adoptive family for three days, he decided not to do so. The comment above was made ostensibly in support of the adoptive family who lost the placement.

Sign the damn papers, asshole. OK… uh… why? Because he said he would? Yeah… so?

So let me run a little hypothetical by you. Let us say that a couple find themselves with an unplanned pregnancy. They make an appointment for an abortion. In the weeks leading up to the appointment they are adamant that abortion is the solution for them. They get to the clinic, she is on the table ready to go… and suddenly they have changed their minds. Abortion seems like a bad idea now they are faced with the stark reality. But… they made an appointment. They said this is what they wanted to do. Abort the damn baby, asshole. Shit, that sounds pretty uncaring huh? Surely nobody would expect someone to abort their baby just because that is what they had originally planned.

Ya think?

Obviously some people just don’t. Fuck me.



14 Responses to “The… what now?… of birth fathers”

  1. You know, someone else could have filled that appointment if only …

    Yea, nice sentiment. Especially from presumably a disinterested, not-the-one-suffering-the-loss, third party. One thing to echo a friend’s rant, quite another to escalate to stratospheric proportions, in a public arena to boot.

  2. momseekingpeace Says:

    The whole mentality around it is heartbreaking, do these people not see that they are talking about someones newborn child?

    The big part of the problem, I think, is that adoption is so considered “the answer” that people are making an adoption plan at 3 months, thats barely time to really get that your really pregnant.

    I would have to say “back off asshole” this is this mans child.

  3. Christine Says:

    What if the mom had kept the baby? Then should he still be backing off because he said he would for 7 months? I think then he would be the asshole for not coming around… right?

    Oy Vey.

  4. reunionwritings Says:

    Some people huh? Plenty of comments like that around, it really makes me wonder.

  5. ugh. yuck. barf.

    i agree. its disgusting.

    great analogy though. really super.

  6. Ugh, some people… I wish I held the switch to who would live or die some days… The population would be decreased by nearly 90%… Reading idiotic things like that, those people just dont make sense to me.

  7. Heh. I have wished for access to that death-switch myself a few times. Mostly while driving. But I figure natural selection will take care of everything eventually. Right?

  8. I’ve always figured the better answer is a “death card”. You can spend it once, either on another person, or to void another playing theirs on you. One would do a lot more thinking about another’s POV I think.

  9. Wow. What a completely ignorant thing for that person to say.

    HEY! I am sooooooo happy to see a FATHER speaking up! I am going now to add you to my links.

  10. I’m adding you to my links, too. It’s really, really great (and important) to see a birthfather speaking up. Thank you for this blog.

  11. That stupid statements really makes me physically ill! People are always saying that the men are not involved, not caring or irrisponsible toward the kids they father and the minute a man stands up and says “I want to be a father to my child” He gets attacked for it?! WTF?!

  12. laaaaaaaamoes!

  13. I like you. Thank you for this post.

  14. Michelle Says:

    Brad, unfortunately stupid people typically (note typically) reproduce faster than smart people. So natural selection doesn’t work for humans. The stupid people have gathered together to make an army (of republicans 😉 )hehe, the repug comment was a joke :). The rest wasn’t.

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