How’s my plumage?

“I’m a white male, age 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me, no matter how dumb my suggestions are.”

– Homer Simpson

But not in the adoption world. It is an incredibly matriarchal society. As a birth father, I find myself enormously marginilized, and I was maybe a little pissed about it. Then I thought about it some more, and I realized that it is not wholly and solely the adoption world that is that way. The entire realm of procreation is at the whim of women, and adoption is just a branch of that tree. Fathers just seem to lurk at the edges of family building.

I wonder if this is a recent development. Is this a symptom of our society promoting a woman’s choice as paramount? Or is it a basic primal instinct, woman as the nurturer, man as the provider? Maybe that is why I am OK with women calling the shots when it comes to family building, but not when it comes to destruction of the family unit. I am OK with being called on to provide for my family. But Cave Man Brad does not like his ability to provide being called into question by his life mate calling on another man to take on those duties. Cave Man Brad’s fire might not burn as bright as the other man’s, but he still has a fire, and a rock and a stick.

What leads a man to agree to relinquishing his child against his cave man instincts, against his better judgement even? My, my, my Delilah. We are given a choice. Woman, or baby. The woman we love, or this unborn piece of intangibility. Well, duh.

And I still do not think I would do anything different, given the choice again.

PS I am not a misogynist.

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One Response to “How’s my plumage?”

  1. good post. i have lots to stay on it but not much time. will be back.

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