I am a birth mother. I gave up my son almost 16 years ago. Thank you for writing such an honest blog.

The adoption that we entered into was an open one. I never felt coerced, but after speaking to the birth father a few weeks ago I think that maybe I just did not want to see it that way. For me, your comparison made perfect sense.

Thank you for helping me see it through his eyes.

Good luck,
Amy

Is there something wrong with me?

Perhaps I should be laughing out loud at the idea of giving my child away and ought I compare how it felt to have my confidence undermined and to be pressured to give my daughter up to buying a stroller? No perhaps not.

I am not a wounded heart. I am living a fabulously vibrant life, I am a happy person, happy all things considered. I am not writing this from pain or because there is something at fault with me. (just to clarify)

I also am aware that giving away my daughter must have caused her hurt and pain. The years wondering where I was and why I didn’t keep her. I am deeply sorry that she experienced that. I really don’t think that is something to say LOL about. I never want to trivialize this Brad.

Being coerced to give up your child is NOTHING like being talked into buying something more expensive in a shop.

It’s NOTHING like driving a car. You do not feel like you even have a car let alone any choice in direction.

You think you can speak for mothers but I disagree. You can speak for fathers yes. You can speak for addicts who relapse and now have a little solid clean time yes. You can speak for someone who is raising a daughter, yes but you do not have the experience to speak for mothers. Please stick to what you know.

You never experienced coercion Brad? Is that true? I am wondering why you are making these posts about coercion as though you experienced it and understand what it is? If you did not experience that then why do you want to tell mothers how they should view it? And what on earth makes you think it’s not insulting to compare what happened to mothers who were coerced to buying something in a shop?

On the right hand side of my main blog page there is a pull-down menu that has a heading “adoption story”. I have not written out all of the story, but what I have written is there. Read from the bottom up, makes more sense that way because the oldest posts are last.

Thank you Brad for the comment on my blog. I was more mad at the negative commenters for being a bit snippy, but I did recognize there message behind the obvious wounded hearts.

Have you written your adoption story out? I would love to read it and know a bit more about your situation. I get lost in peoples blogs.

Rebekah

Rebekah : Thank you for reading. Of course, the male perspective is best gained from your baby’s father, but I realize the circumstances there may not be conducive to conversation. I have looked at your blog a little and will try to comment there when I get my thoughts together.

Suz, I did think about single parenting, but only briefly because I did not want to lose my relationship. An actual, tangible relationship with a person I could see trumped a relationship with the son I could not quite fathom as being real at the time. Ironically, we broke up anyways, but by then I was so drug-fucked that sole parenting would have been out of the question.

I am not a birth mother yet but I will be in a few months so it is interesting to see the male perspective.

Rebekah