Haircut

Ever accidentally grab your razor instead of your hairbrush?

Yeah, me neither.

Stop growing up dammit!

It has been one year already. My daughter is growing up too fast.  There is a pinch of sadness each time we pack away a set of clothing that no longer fits, sadness along with the joy and pride each time she does something new like crawling around in the bathtub and saying her own name (I swear she did!)

Each of these milestones is one step closer to us having to explain to Lamia that her big brother and half-sister live in another family, way over the other side of the country. A huge part of me just wants to keep quiet about it. If we do not tell her, she will never know. It will never affect her. She will never have anything to wonder about. We could be her only family. She is our flesh and blood, she looks like us, is there any reason for her to know her siblings even exist?

This little voice tells me we are setting her up for more issues if we tell her about Sprog’s family than if we do not. Let her think she is our firstborn. Why not? Then she can have a normal childhood and not have to tell people at kindergarten that she has older siblings and have the teachers think she is making up stories.

I think I would do it that way, if we did not have a continuing relationship with Sprog’s family. I know that sounds horribly wrong, perpetuating the secrecy in adoption. But when it is to protect Lamia, to make her life easier, more normal… is that such a terribly bad thing?

I am the smartest man alive!

I have been playing “Are you smarter than a 5th grader?”. I won $1million!

Then….

Wife: Brad, have you been up all night googling Sarah Palin?

Brad: No….  but LOOK!

My daughter rocks

She loves the Dropkick Murphys. Loves them.

Complacency

I fear I am becoming complacent. Lazy. Unvigilant. This is a gateway to a not-good place.

I said it a few days ago – no interest in alcohol. It made me happy. But now it scares me, because I thought about it some more and I think just maybe I need to stay in the fight. It is when you do not realize there is a battle going on that you get snuck up on and garrotted. In a battle situation you are on alert. But how do you fight something that will not fight back?

Good daddy material

Heh. The search terms that brought someone to my blog yesterday:

Good daddy material

That one makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.

And then there was:

Diarrhea after margarita

That is the more usual kind of hit I get.

I am a rock star

Seriously. My daughter thinks I am a rock star. I came home from work and she saw me and shrieked like a teen at a Simple Plan concert. Best feeling ever. Of course, if she starts throwing her panties at me, that could get a little awkward.

My son has never been quite that thrilled to see me. He still thinks I am a rock star though. His older brother has a guitar, and I always teach them to play something when I am there. Their parents are very unmusical, so I feel like it is one area I can contribute and not step on any toes.

I love it when my daughter shrieks with joy at being in my presence. This is a new thing. Up till now, she has always wanted Mommy, and I have felt just a little rejected and unimportant and… sperm-donor-ish. Maybe this is why some dads feel OK about skipping out. They think they are superfluous. It has taken a year, but finally I feel like I belong.

Random thoughts

Has Obama’s “lipstick on a pig” comment cost him the election? He seems to be digging himself a deeper hole the more he tries to justify it (anyone see Letterman the other night?). On the upside, if he does become president, looks like we still have some material for Letterman’s Great Presidential Speeches segment.

The Republicans are a tricksy bunch. Putting a woman in as the vice-presidential candidate was a stroke of genius. Now those who wanted to vote for Hillary because they wanted to see a woman in power will have someone to vote for. Also, rednecks with guns will have someone to vote for. I wonder, if Hillary was running for the Democrats, whether McCain would have found himself a black running mate. Points to ponder.

September 11 is still a sobering day. I have NASA’s picture of the day in iGoogle. I am glad my daughter was not born today.

My daughter turns 1 year old next week. OMGWTFBBQ?!

My son turns 8 years old this year. OMGWTFBBQ?!

I want an apron featuring the body of a naked man with a six pack. Anyone know where I can get one?

Why does the grass in my back yard grow faster than the grass in the front yard?

I no longer care about drinking alcohol. I do not miss it in the slightest, even when people around me are drinking.

I dropped my iPod and it still works. To be honest, l am a little cheesed about that because I want an excuse to get an iPhone.

Fear and loathing

Damn. I take a hiatus and another one bites the dust. Sad to see you go, Kim.Kim.

I have still been reading though. Just not moved to write, until now. I guess creativity must be related to the level of psychological wellbeing, because I find I am more likely to write when things are going badly. Anyways, I was reading Dan and I can’t not say something about this. And, most specifically, this.

Overturning Roe vs Wade

OK, not specifically adoption related, but I feel compelled to speak from my pro-choice perspective. Is it just me, or does “as president he will nominate judges who understand that courts should not be in the business of legislating from the bench” sound suspiciously like “as president he will nominate judges who will toe the party line”? The case was already heard in a court of law. The ruling was made. Deal with it.

Have you ever had a decision that you just could not make, so you flipped a coin, and then when you flipped the coin you decided that what you really wanted was the other outcome, so you went with it? That is what this feels like to me. If it does not work out how you wanted, you flip again and again until you get your desired outcome.

Quit flipping, McCain. The coin has spoken.

Promoting adoption

Christ. Where do I begin?

“John McCain will seek ways to promote adoption as a first option for women struggling with a crisis pregnancy.” (emphasis mine)

Argh. Argh. Argh. /headwall

He will: “prohibit discrimination against families with adopted children, … provide adoption education, and … permit tax deductions for qualified adoption expenses, as well as … remove barriers to interracial and inter-ethnic adoptions.”

All great and noble ideals. And will he:

• prohibit discrimination against single parents
• prohibit shutting biological fathers out of the adoption and decision process
• provide assistance for families in a crisis pregnancy situation

Oh, and what exactly will his “adoption education” entail? Will it educate parents on the psychological and emotional fallout in the wake of adoption? Provide information on what open adoption actually is and exactly how enforceable it is not? Explain the ways in which you may be manipulated by the agency you believe is working on your behalf?

Protecting marriage

“John McCain believes the institution of marriage is a union between one man and one woman.” (emphasis mine)

He believes it. He apparently believes this gives him the right to force everyone else to live by his beliefs.

I believe he is evil incarnate. So… it is OK for me to kill him, right?

He scares me. A lot.